Authoritative parenting is one of the most effective and beneficial parenting styles. Here’s what to know about it.
Imagine you walk into your child’s room and you notice that their homework isn’t finished, the room is a mess, and they’re on the phone talking with their friend. What do you?
Parenting isn’t easy, especially in moments like these.
Your first instinct may be to yell and punish your kid. But what if you choose to remind them about your request instead, and give them a firm deadline for when you expect both tasks to be completed? You can set up consequences for not completing the tasks, such as taking away their phone for the day.
Of course, there is no “right” way to handle the situation. Yet, this could be exactly how someone following an authoritative parenting style would react in this situation.
This parenting style has been shown to be highly effective in psychological research. Here’s what to know about it.
Authoritative parenting is sometimes confused with authoritarian parenting, which is actually very different. Authoritative parenting is a parenting philosophy developed in the 1960s by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind.
It aims to strike a balance between structure and nurture.
“Parents using an authoritative style have certain expectations for their children, though they use respect to encourage good behavior,” explains Jaclyn Gulotta, a mental health counselor and parenting coordinator based in Lake Mary, Florida.
In other words, authoritative parents may set clear boundaries and rules for their kids, but they will also give them the resources and support they need to succeed and meet those expectations.
They also leave some room for conversation and compromise in their relationship with their child.
“This style is much more democratic,” explains Brent Metcalf, a clinical social worker based in Johnson City, Tennessee.
“The guardians using this style of parenting are responsive to their children and will usually listen to the children about any complaints or questions they have about the rules set in place.”
Caregivers using authoritative parenting also tend to use fair discipline and are more forgiving if a kid doesn’t meet expectations, especially if there are extenuating circumstances.
This is because, in general, an authoritative parent will rely more on positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than punishment or threats, to get their children to strive to do better next time.
What are examples of authoritative parenting?